Int. Zoo - Day

Four zookeepers are meeting behind the bear exhibit.

Leader

O.K., big problem here.  Our supplies have been severely depleted.  All our salmon reserves are way down and I’m not sure we will be able to feed the bears this month.

Zookeeper #1

Well, it wasn’t me.  I am very careful with how I pass out the fish.

Zookeeper #2

I am equally baffled.  Larry, do you have any thoughts?

Larry the zookeeper is very clearly a bear, wearing a zoo hat and badge.

Larry

I’m stumped fellas.  Also, I would just like to reiterate the fact that I am not a bear.

Leader

Larry, we’ve been over this.  We all know you aren’t a bear.

Zookeeper #1

Well I’m still not convinced.

Larry

Come on.  I’ve written several sentences with both pen and pencil.  There’s no bear that has ever done that.

Zookeeper #1

I’m still not convinced!

Zookeeper #2

We’ve got bigger problems than finding out who is a bear and who isn’t a bear.  Look at my tools, they are covered in honey. 

Leader

Not good, not good at all!  Someone has been tampering with the locks.

Larry

Here, let me see that wrench.

Zookeeper #2

Why?

Larry (growls)

Just let me see it!

Larry swipes the wrench from zookeeper #2 and starts licking the honey from it.

Zookeeper #1

See!  That is very bear-like behavior.

Leader

Cool it!  We’ve got bigger problems here.

Zookeeper #2

Great, now I’ve got honey all over my shirt.

Larry

Let me see that shirt.

Larry growls and rips the shirt directly off Zookeeper #2’s body.  He starts licking the honey off the shirt.

Zookeeper #1

How is this guy not a bear!?

Leader

We are putting a stop to this who’s-a-bear, who’s-not-a-bear talk right now!  And besides, Larry’s got a hat on, clearly indicating that he is a human. 

Larry

It is making me feel very bristly!

Leader

Don’t worry Larry.  Here, why don’t you walk on your ball for a while.

Leader rolls a ball into the room.  Larry balances on the ball and walks around the room while on it.  He rolls past Zookeeper #1.

Larry

Hey, could you get this shirt out of my claws?

Zookeeper #1

Humans don’t have claws!

Larry rips out zookeeper #1’s throat.

BLACKOUT.