Int. Bar - Night
Two friends are sitting at the bar: Chad, fit, attractive, and well-dressed, and Ralph, pudgy, glasses, awkward but cute in the face. Chad is talking to Veronica sitting on his right while Ralph sits to his left.
Chad
So my friend, totally has a house down in North Wildwood. We party there like crazy. I am SO good at beer pong. We would definitely be on a team together.
Veronica
Oh, wow. That sounds fun. I haven’t played beer pong since college.
Chad
Dude, in college I played in two baseball leagues, intramurals. Right field mostly, but I tossed a couple innings.
Veronica
Baseball, great. My brother played AAA.
Chad
Yea, I could have played AAA too if I hadn’t tweaked my back doing a beer bong.
Ralph
Hey, what’s your favorite animal?
Chad looks at him, annoyed.
Veronica
Ummm, I guess a horse?
Ralph
Cool, that’s half a centaur.
Veronica laughs. Chad switches back to mack mode.
Chad
You know, my friends called me Rad Chad in college.
Veronica
Ah, very clever, rhyming.
Chad
Yea, we were always joking around like that. College was a total blast. Barely remember any of it from all the drinking I did.
Veronica
Yea, people do that in college some time.
Ralph (to Veronica)
Ok, gun to your head, which apocalypse would you rather have: zombie or vampire?
Veronica
Oh, definitely zombie. That would be my best chance for survival.
Ralph
Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
Chad (aside, to Ralph)
Dude, what are you doing?
Ralph
I’m being your wing man! That’s what you wanted me to do, right?
Chad
Just, shut up and let me do the talking. (to Veronica) So yea, my uncle owns a shooting range. I go up there all the time and fire off a couple rounds. Totally relaxing, you would love it.
Veronica
I’m not really into the whole gun thing.
Chad
You’ll love it. I brought my ex up there and she couldn’t get enough of it.
Veronica
Oh, your ex. That’s nice.
Ralph hands a napkin to Veronica.
Ralph
Here, I drew a picture. It’s two centaurs shooting machine guns.
Veronica looks at the picture and laughs. Chad is very annoyed with Ralph.
Chad
I’m going to hit the john. I’ll be right back.
Chad exits.
Veronica
So, your friend is pretty interesting.
Ralph
Oh he’s great, isn’t he!? I wish I had ten friends just like him.
Veronica
So let me ask you a question.
Ralph
Ok, shoot.
Veronica
How much do you hate the Psycho remake?
Ralph and Veronica lock eyes with the realization that they are soul mates. The universe has brought them here together to this bar, this precise moment. The noise of the bar dims, the other patrons disappear, leaving just the two of them to experience each others company. It lasts just a second, but each of them get a taste of the most pure, real love that one person can have for someone else. The crowd and noise returns. Chad enters.
Chad
Back, did you miss me?
Veronica
Oh sure.
Chad
So where you headed later tonight? We should head over to M Bar for some late night dancing.
Veronica looks at Ralph and hesitates with her answer.
Veronica
I’d love that. Let me just go tell my friends. Here’s your picture back, Ralph.
Veronica hands the napkin to Ralph and exits.
Chad
Thanks for the help brother.
Ralph (somberly)
Sure thing, Rad.
Chad exits. Ralph looks at the back of the napkin. It has Veronica’s number on it and says “Call Me.” Cue Queen’s “Princes of the Universe.”
BLACKOUT.
